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I'm 35 With Kids and No Will: Where Do I Start?

5 min11 Jan 2026

I'm 35 With Kids and No Will: Where Do I Start?

You're not alone. 62% of parents with children under 18 don't have a will. You know you should. You've been meaning to. Life keeps getting in the way.

No judgment here. Just clarity on exactly what you need to do, how long it actually takes, and how to get it done today.

Because here's the thing: you're not avoiding this because you're lazy or irresponsible. You're avoiding it because it feels overwhelming, slightly morbid, and you don't know where to start.

Let's fix that right now.

Table of Contents

Why You've Been Putting This Off {#why-youve-been-putting-this-off}

Let's name the blockers:

"It feels morbid." Yes. Thinking about dying when you have young children is genuinely horrible. But not thinking about it doesn't make it less likely to happen. It just means you haven't protected them.

"We can't agree on guardians." This is the biggest reason parents stall. You want your sister, your partner wants their parents. Here's the truth: a will with any named guardian is better than no will. You can update it later when you reach consensus.

"We don't have much money, so what's the point?" The point is your children. Guardianship has nothing to do with money. Even if you had zero assets, you need a will to say who raises your kids.

"It feels complicated." It's not. Three decisions. One form. Done.

"I don't have time." You have 20 minutes. That's all it takes.

The Three Decisions You Need to Make {#the-three-decisions-you-need-to-make}

Your will needs to answer three questions. That's it.

1. Who looks after your children? (Guardians)

If both parents die, who raises the kids? This is the most important part of your will.

What you need to decide:

  • Primary guardian (first choice)
  • Backup guardian (if first choice can't serve)

Quick filter questions:

  • Who shares your values?
  • Who has space in their life for your kids?
  • Who do your children already know and trust?
  • Who would actually say yes?

Important: Talk to them first. Don't just name someone in your will without checking they're willing.

2. Who gets your stuff? (Beneficiaries)

For most parents, this is simple: everything to spouse/partner, then to children if spouse/partner has also died.

What you need to decide:

  • Primary beneficiary (usually your partner)
  • What happens if they've also died (usually split between children)
  • Age children receive inheritance (18 is default, but you can set 21 or 25)

Don't overcomplicate this. Unless you have complex family situations (stepchildren, estranged relatives, specific items for specific people), keep it simple.

3. Who sorts everything out? (Executors)

These are the people who carry out your wishes - pay bills, distribute assets, handle paperwork.

What you need to decide:

  • Primary executor (often your partner)
  • Backup executor (in case your partner has also died)

Good executor qualities:

  • Organised and reliable
  • Willing to take on admin
  • Ideally local (though not essential)
  • You trust them completely

Many people name their partner as primary executor and their chosen guardian as backup.

Your Options and Costs {#your-options-and-costs}

OptionCostTimeBest For
Online will service£90-£15020-30 minsMost parents with straightforward situations
Solicitor£150-£5001-2 weeksComplex estates, blended families, business owners
DIY template£0-£301-2 hoursOnly if you really know what you're doing
Will-writing service£100-£2001-2 hoursMid-range option with some guidance

For most 35-year-old parents with kids, a mortgage, and standard family situation: An online will service is perfect. You'll be guided through each question, the document will be legally valid, and you'll be done before the kids wake up from their nap.

When you need a solicitor:

  • You own a business
  • You have property abroad
  • You have a complex family situation (stepchildren with different inheritance rights)
  • You're concerned about inheritance tax (estates over £325,000 after property allowances)
  • You want to set up trusts

The 20-Minute Action Plan {#the-20-minute-action-plan}

Frequently Asked Questions {#frequently-asked-questions}

Key Takeaways

  • It takes 20-30 minutes. That's less than an episode of whatever you're watching
  • It costs £90-£150 online. Less than your weekly shop
  • You only need to decide 3 things. Guardians, beneficiaries, executors
  • You don't need a solicitor. Unless your situation is genuinely complex
  • An imperfect will beats no will. Every single time

Next Steps {#next-steps}

You've read enough. It's time to do.

Right now:

  1. Text your chosen guardian: "Quick question - would you be comfortable being named as guardian for [kids' names] in our will?"
  2. While waiting for their reply, bookmark an online will service

Today:

  1. Complete your will once you have guardian confirmation
  2. Sign it with two witnesses

Done.

You'll feel a weight lift. That background anxiety that surfaces at 3am? It gets quieter when you know you've protected your kids.

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Last updated: January 2026. This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Laws described apply to England and Wales.

Last updated: 11 January 2026